DooDiddleWidddles!

Fear

No drawing or animation post, Since Halloween is coming up,

tonight I am gonna talk about fear. Fear is a word that always has this negative foundation. I feel that fear can be looked at as a driving force, fear can be something you have out of the respect of a person or a craft. I fear art, I fear animation, I am so terrified of these two things that sometimes my heart can not take it and it skips a beat, I get cold and sweaty, I panic, Its embarrassing! LOL. Somehow through this fear, I find drive. Drive to do better, to push harder, to keep making myself a better artist. The fear I have of art is that at anytime it can turn on you, or be taken away from you, whether its loss of a job, losing your sight,losing a limb! Or just not gaining the altitude talent wise that you always imagined for yourself. Scary things right? Wrong. Fear is life, do I date this girl? Do I take this job? Do I try this? Do I try that? These are all things that can illuminate fear,but there is a good side to this, I feel all the things in life that are ever worth a damn thing root from fear, and if we let it fuel us and not stop us cold, we can soar like a fucking eagle strapped to a missile heading toward the blazing sun! I just recently got a job where I am working on my very first animated feature, with industry vets, they scare the shit out of me everyday! Though filled with fear, I still manage to take my black ass to work everyday, because I am soaking up as much shit as I can, learning growing, I am allowing my fear to fuel me not inhibit me. Fear is the bomb!! D!

Doodles

So for the past ten weeks, I was working at reel fx dallas on project "Dave" What an amazing fun place! Sooo many talented artist at the studio. I often wondered how in the hell did I end up here?! But I truly felt blessed and thanked GOD everyday for the chance to work and to work with so many friendly creative people. The time flew by so fast! So many amazing things happened! I was reunited with old friends from various studios I have worked at in the past, and I made new friends as well! I am not gonna lie, before I got this gig, I was in a really low place, a dark place that I do not ever want to be in again, you know that place where you basically shit on yourself, and question yourself, you doubt all the things that make you who you ARE! But some amazing things happened, I got sooo much respect in Dallas for these little drawings I did when I would wait for a playblast. I got so much admiration and respect from all my coworkers that it really filled my heart!! I am not sure why I always need validation in life and especially in my career, but I do! I think it is the curse of being an artist, but more then money or material things, I have always just wanted respect in the field I have put and sacrificed so much in! So getting that from just these little doodles, that made me happy! Then we had a visitor, you might have heard of him, Glen Keane! If you dig deep in this blog you will find a drawing he did for me when I was about 3 years old, it had a huge impact on my facination with animation and drawing. I Had the chance to tell him the story of how he met my father when my dad worked at Atari, and he asked Glen to do a drawing for me and my two sisters. I told him how it influenced me, and at the time we were so poor, we could not frame it. I told him how we kept it in a encyclopedia under Disney. I told him how I found myself always opening it up to gaze at the drawings, not quite sure why I was so "drawn" to it. I then just thanked him, he remembered meeting my father at Atari, and it truly was a full circle momment for me! This 10 week gig at REEL FX was just what I needed, I do not know what the future brings, but I am inspired and look forward to whatever new adventure comes my way! D!

Nude Girl Scribble!

Butcher Scribble!

Spidey Scribble!

Voldermort Scribble!!

Character Designs

Dark Knight

Don't you hate it when people fuck you over? Take advantage? It would be nice to have a hero come in and handle it for you.

Late night fun

What am I doing?

Well, my chapter of life at Hawaii Animation Studios has closed. I am now yet again standing in that artistic fork in the road, where I wonder where will I end up next? I have now been animating for about 10 years, and the cocky side of me thinks it should be easy by now to just walk into the next gig. But that is not the case, There are many that do what I do, and do it better, the fight to be seen as an artist is one I fear I will always be fighting. Get better! Work harder! Learn new software! Fight Fight Fight! And why I am certain this fight is in me, I also have this scary feeling of just leveling out as an artist, reaching a point where there is no more growth. Which to me is a fucking nightmare because I have so many high hopes of where all this is going to lead. All the packing up, and moving from city to city, resetting my life over and over. Something big needs to happen! I also get scared because even though I know I have fight left in me to reach my goals, I also have thoughts of living deep in the woods where nobody can find me, and just create art and get out of the hustle lol. I gave up a long time ago trying to plan what was to come next in my life as an artist/animator. Instead, I welcome the unknown, I look forward to the possibility of a great new opportunity! This will be my last month in Hawaii, it has been a great year and a half, I never expected to be here. Where will I go next?...

First Tattoo!

To mark the event of my unemployment, on my final week of work, I went to get my very first tattoo. It is of an animation disc, with the word, dream under it. It is to remind me, why I have moved from state to state, packing up one life to start a completely new one somewhere else. It is a reminder of the dream, the dream to become great at what I do, and to never stop chasing my dreams.

DOODLES

Dinosour Revolution

It was soo much fun animating on this show, I have a new appreciation for dinosaurs. Check it out and enjoy, I am posting a still from a shot I animated and also the shows promo poster.

Monster

lil doodle.

Cowboy

lil fun with the wacom!

Some old stuff

Self Portrait and other doodle

New Model

Not the best model, but we will see if I can rig it. :)

Rolling Stones issue #3

Rolling Stones Middle East!

So I have been doing the Regional Affairs illustrations for Rolling Stones Middle East,and it has been freaking awesome! I love seeing my work in print! Truly and honor and just all around cool thing to be doing. Here are two images from the first two issues to come out.

D!